We have all been here, struggling to forgive offenses. I know that it is not easy to move beyond the mental stress and emotional pain of betrayal, slander, abandonment, someone taking advantage of  us by using us financially or sexually. The weight of either of these offenses is unexplanable and at times feel unbearable. If we want to be honest with ourselves, we would prefer not to have to forgive them and simply never allow those people anywhere near us. But...deep down within ourselves we know that such conduct is not acceptable by our heavenly Father, and should not be entertained if we want to be forgiven by Him.

HARDENED HEART - something we should not have because while we are keeping those people  away from us, we are also keeping doors closed that could make living on this earth much easier. Hebrews 3:15 - "While it is said, 'Today if ye will hear His voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation.'"

PRIDE - this emotion and mindset keeps us in a rejected position with our heavenly Father. James 4:6 - "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, 'God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.'"

SELFISHNESS - truly not listed among the fruit of the Spirit, therefore we should not justify our unwillingness to release our offenders. Galatians 5:22, 23 -"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." 

STUBBORNNESS (Refusing Holy Spirit's counsel) - We should never quench the Spirit of God, knowing that He was sent to lead us into all truth and convict us of our erred behavior. Furthermore stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry (loving yourself more than the will of God). 1 Thessalonians 5:19 - "Quench not the Spirit."  1 Samuel 15:23a - "For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry."

Just those four conditions of the heart tell us that it is more beneficial for us to forgive than our offenders who were forgiven.  I didn't say that it would be easy. However, it is much less difficult to execute when we remove our focus from the person who did us wrong, and place it on our need to remain in good standing with our heavenly Father through obedience and love. 

Look at how powerful and effective love is -  1 Peter 4:8 - "And above all things have fervent charity (love) among yourselves: for charity (love) shall cover the multitude of sins." You see, although we may struggle emotionally from time to time to forgive, we cannot afford not to do so if we want to be forgiven. In regards to restoration, this should be enforced after repentance. To repent means to turn away from doing something wrong and towards doing what is right in accordance with the Holy Scriptures. The absence of CHANGE does not demand restoration on our part, but forgiveness does not require repentance. Remember the scriptures that you've read and strive to have less emotional struggles.